This is my first blog post in this series. This will be repeating and is specifically designed for those that work outside of the home. I am part of several "mommy" boards and groups and most of them are designed more for stay at home moms. I would like to make something that is for those of us that work whether it be part or full time, you are working outside or inside the home and your children are in the care of others.
My first topic in this series is one I've heard a lot about from moms that are about to go back to work for the first time. This would be the issue of guilt over leaving your children and returning to the workplace while trusting someone other than yourself to care for your children. There are two things that I wish to respond with.
First of all, it's important that you remember that what you're doing will allow you to financially provide for your family (or at least help). This is incredibly important in the grand scheme of things so don't think of it as time away from your child/children. Rather, see it for what it is, time spent providing for them and their future.
Next and just as important, someone once said to me, "it's not so much the amount of time you spend with your children, more importantly is the quality of time that is being spent." That's not to say that you should spend ten minutes with your kids and the rest of your time on your stuff. What it means is that though those of us that work have less time to spend with our children, what we do with them when we are with them is more important than ever. Those are the things they are going to remember. Making sure that your children feel loved and supporting them in their interests is what we should all be aiming for.
There are many ways in which to raise children and we all have to work within our limitations. There are days that I wish I could be home with my children all the time, but I know that that is not feasible and I have made my peace with it. What are some of the hardest parts for you working away from your children? What are some of the benefits?
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I like your comment about spending time providing for them. I have really tried hard to put work until after they are in bed, though, it's still very difficult for me.
ReplyDeleteThe hardest part for me is missing the little things, first roll over, fist crawl, first laugh. I thank God everyday that I have Kim to watch the kids. She is wonderful. She keeps the "firsts" from me so I get to have them.
Benefits. We get a break from one another. We can really enjoy each other when we do see get to spend time together. We have the financial means to do much more with kids than if I didn't work, (trips, hockey tickets, museums, zoos, etc.) I'm a teacher so I have summers off so that helps ease the guilt, too
This was a response from another reader that had a hard time commenting. I'm looking into the problem:
ReplyDeleteSome of the hardest parts of working away from my children...Where do I start? Trying to find the "right" balance between spending fun time with the kids and tending to much needed chores around the house. I should pause here and say I LOVE my sleep and w/o an adequate amount I feel disfunctional. So, while I could stay up late at night tending to dishes or throwing yet again, another load of laundry into the wash, I prefer to get to bed at a reasonable hour. So, where does this leave me? Cleaning house or running to the store on the weekends and not FEELING like I've scheduled enough fun time in with the kids. Ah, the guilt. :)
Hey it's Bastienetdanielle from BBC :) So I was going to post the other day:
ReplyDeleteThanks for creating this, it was perfect timing seeing that I go back so soon. I feel more selfish than anything, I know she needs to see other people and have her people skills grow, but I want to keep her! (I sound like a little kid trying to keep a dog they found LOL). In all seriousness, I'm sad about the fact that i won't be able to kiss or cuddle her 24/7, or that our routine on my days off will be messed up because of how someone else is handling my child. I think I need to let go and try adapt to a new way of life with baby. I need to think money money money and all the fun stuff we'll be able to do when she's older because we'll have a lot of it! Thanks again Lisa for this blog and can't wait to read more encouraging words!
As a single mom...the best you can do every day is the best you can. Even moms with lots of time w/kids dont always do a great job. It is ALWAYS the quality of the time you do spend that makes a difference. You cant ever go wrong if you show them all the love support and acceptance you can. It helps them grow up as stronger people as they face thier own problems.
ReplyDeleteAnyway your life is not the problem, it is what you do with it that is your problem to tackle-so give yourself a pat on the back for any effort you make to make life better.